the life coach 1

The Life Coach

1

2nd Prologue

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark.... Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours." - Ayn Rand

Such is my faith that I do not know who I am. I am not in charge of my life as I believed it was, just a few years ago...

My name is Jay Storm. I am a counselor and a psychological therapist and a so-called life coach.

Ironic, isn't it; the life coach is not in charge of his own life. Many clients have I helped towards realization of themselves and their inner abilities to live a better life; to be fulfilled as what they truly are.
Myself? I don't know what I am doing here. I have many thoughts in my head, but I do not know where they come from; they don't seem to be mine anymore.

What to do? Where do I go? What is going to happen to me and more important; who am I if I am not me?

Picture a white room. Everything inside this room is white;

which means that there are no references or contrasts that can indicate where I am or what kind of room this is. No shadows, not a trace of any other colour...
If a black spot suddenly would appear in front of me as if there was a wall there; how would I feel? What would that spot mean to me and how would the room change? Maybe it wouldn't change, but just prove to me that this is a completely white room; that it's there. I can see it now although it's still very white.

I am trying to see myself as the black spot. I think I would feel very much alone. More now than before the black spot appeared.

Who has created this room which would drive me insane if I kept on staying here?


I think I would draw another spot a short distance from the first one and then a line in between the two spots. I would already feel much better. I would keep on doing this until I had lines and dots all over the room and I would be satisfied and say to myself; "Hey, I have a grip on this now! I can clearly see the room."

Maybe it could work out that way, but I doubt it would make my life better or make me understand it.

I woke up one morning after having a nightmare. I could not remember what I had been dreaming, but I was very alarmed and felt uncomfortable when I set my feet on the floor. I just sat there for what must have been 15 minutes; totally empty, but I could still feel the turmoil inside my stomach or rather in the Solar Plexus area … I was sweating although the room wasn't very hot. I knew: 'sweat coming from within' as I called the phenomenon to myself. Something significant had been going on during the last half hour...

Something deep inside that had been waiting for many years to break through. This had started to happen about 20 years ago. I had started meditating 2 years before, which had affected me profoundly. My mind had opened to depths I couldn't have imagined existed just 2 years before...
Now I was just waiting for the revelation to show up; what was this about? I lay down on my back with my head on the pillow. I think I just dozed off again, but then came this voice in my head, saying: "wake up Jay, wake up Jay, WAKE UP JAY!!"

I found myself standing on the floor several steps away from the bedside. Now I could only hear the sound of tiny bells in the middle of my head... Then; as it was coming from far, far away; a distant voice from a child saying: "do you remember, Jay, when you were a little boy sitting in the light many years ago?" I didn't know what to say or how to express myself... "Just talk normally", the child's voice said. Still I hesitated ; "the shining light and the flowers, Jay!" The voice sounded a little annoyed now. I said: "you mean; you were there? How do you know about this? Who are you??" Then, to my amazement the voice said: "I am you and you are me!", "please, can you explain?" "I am Little Jay, who saw these visions and I still know them and live them. Would you like to recapitulate them and be one with me and then I can be one with you..." I went to the bed and sat down. I was crying now.

L.J. as I had always called him and who had been on my mind and in my heart for so many years... Could this be true or was I still dreaming?

It took some time before I came to my senses again and it seemed like the boy understood; he was waiting for me. I said through tears that I would love to be close to him. Then I heard his clinging laughter in my head; L.J.'s laughter as I remembered it when I laughed as a boy! I became euphoric now; I laughed and I cried and went around in the room, stopped by the window with tears of joy flowing down my cheeks.

What a joy!